Rejecting the Rules

Something a friend said got me musing. She walked away from the 'downsizer/downshifter' label since she didn't make her own bread etc so she felt it didn't 'fit' and this got me thinking about the self imposed rules to a green or simple life. I can only ever base all on my own humble experiences and who am I to dictate, but it raises some questions about how we approach our chosen lifestyle

One sees so much of rules in trying to be 'green' or 'simple-living' or whatever current title is in fashion - only eat homemade bread, pledges to buy nothing new for a month or longer, avoiding the supermarket, only cleaning with vinegar and elbow grease.
Are they things to beat ourselves up with if we don't do them? Possibly. I've witnessed and heard enough guilt from those who have apparently 'broken' the rules. Caught eating a McD's!! Horror! Found in a supermarket - excommunicated! Not to mention the media who love to scorn that a self confessed ' greenie' dares to take the plane for a holiday. Justifications and back tracking abounds with self penance and punishment taken. I don't believe this to be at all helpful for anyone.
Are they a way of belonging? Is there a tribe mentality that says in order to call yourself a true ... (fill in gap) then you must only....? Very probably and that's not necessarily a bad thing per se but we're back to rules and the guilt of breaking them

Do we need rules like that? I've come to the conclusion that perhaps we don't. It excludes somewhat and makes it intimidating for others to join. Guidelines and broad aims, yes but strict rules, no.

Its true humans naturally crave order and routine, and without apparent rules, perhaps because its a new movement, we'll invent some. I'm currently unconvinced that's the right way to go. I'm actually coming to think its a life that should be more fluid than that. Day to day routine aside. Its complicated to explain.....

Reading John Lane's Timeless Simplicity over the holiday he states that what will suit one won't suit another and making your own simplicity, your very own, is what its about. Thinking about it that has to be the truth. A simple ( or eco) life in a town flat is bound to be different to a simple life on a smallholding in the country. So what works for one can't possibly work for another. One's family situation, money, land availability ( or none), interests, and talents or skills must make a difference.

Some examples from my own life to illustrate the futility of setting rules with the guilt that they bring -

Making own bread - love doing it and homemade pizza dough is favourite in this house for a Friday night supper. But currently I'm not making many loaves. The kids in a bid for independence prefer to grab a shop bought roll or bagel for lunch and packed lunches. Homemade bread was going mouldy since only me and Tim were eating it. Shop bought doesn't go off so quickly. I think there is a seasonal element to this. Winter soup lunches needs fresh warm bread and a loaf will be completely eaten in one meal so there is little waste. So homemade bread will ebb and flow in this house depending on the eating habits of its occupants. Its what works for the family. Whilst previous generations could demand their kids eat all in front of them, we are products of our generation and society and much as we may silently wish for clean plates we can no longer demand it. I'd hate to waste something I'd spent time making.

Old fashioned household cleaners. Been there, done that. They're reasonably effective although time consuming to use and the eco shop bought versions work well but there are times with animals and kids and country mud ( not to mention limescale) when only bleach will do. I like a clean house, not obsessively, but still, I have standards.

I've discovered that eco washing liquid will eventually make the machine smell. It seems to need a regular dose of normal powder to cleanse its pipes out and keep it fresh. So I've evolved to using a mix of regular non bio powder and ecover. Its not perfect but it works for us.

Buy nothing new - hmm ok in theory but its too crude a stick for every eventuality. True it makes one mindful of unnecessary purchases but I can think of plenty of examples where it just doesn't work. We needed to equip our joint study with desks and cabinets. Its an odd shaped room and much as we looked, it just wasn't possible to find second hand things to fit and make best use of the space. So of course we got new that was shaped to make a co-ordinated run of desks. Much as I'm a fan of second hand books and love a good jumble sale there are times when saving up for the real brand new thing is actually more eco friendly if its exactly what is wanted and will be used for years. To me an appreciation of things new or old is better so that purchases are considered and will have a useful and hopefully long life in the house.

The supermarket - I try to avoid the supermarket and we do well with the things we grow, bulk buying and local shops but there are things I just can't get anywhere else. I don't need to do a 'big shop' at all now, but there will always be the odd thing I need which luckily I can grab whilst in town for other things. So I can't say I exclusively avoid the supermarket ( would be nice but I'm being practical) but I've reduced our reliance on it hugely - probably by 80% or more.

So without guilt or justification I'm setting it out as it is for us. We're not perfect (I'm not sure I'd entirely trust someone who claimed to be, would you?) but we do our best within our family and within the society we inhabit.

And yet of course there are similarities in all the variants of eco/simple living, but I think they are at a less practical level than what you clean the loo with. A desire to appreciate the earth and be mindful and careful of resources ( be that food, energy or water etc). A sense of being in the present as much as possible which also encompasses a sense of having enough ie not always hankering after the next big thing so therefore rejecting a materialistic lifestyle. Being in the present is also about working fully on whatever is being done currently which might be writing as I'm doing now, or a craft or the garden. It also means not necessarily trying to recreate or live in the past if its not practical to do so; there is nothing inherently wrong with modern technology. It can be more efficient and time saving than the old way although there can be great pleasure in learning an old skill.


I read quite a few blogs on self-sufficiency, frugal or simple living and whilst I find them a great source of inspiration and guidance there is often a sense of an almost monastic life with self prescribed constraints, routines and rules. If there is but one of you, or your household is as one in your common aims, then great, but imposing ideals on the rest of the household who are just as immersed in our society with its temptations as you are, is surely undemocratic. I admire these blogs but know I can't live like that all the time -something would give and I am determined not to live a life of guilt if I fail at some green expectation or other.

I understand the sense of comfort that constraints bring and am not knocking it as such, but surely one of the big bonuses in having a more self-subscribed life with control ( that's not the right word but you know what I mean) over own food or employment or whatever must be the freedom to define things for one self. With the absolute right to evolve or indeed change all of it, if circumstances or interests change. Why tie down that hard won freedom to live outside constraints of our time scheduled society with arbitrary rules? Leave guilt outside. Evolve, and live with spontaneity!